Carol Ann Culbert Johnson

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Dating in the 40's and the 50's (Excerpt)

I am sick of the dating scene at forty.  The hassles of trying to meet someone is

grating over my nerve cells.  Why bother with the countless times of being alone,

and wondering if he’s going to call today?  It’s a headache on top of a headache. 

Let me tell you why.

I see men my age going with women that are only twenty-two years old.  What

chance do I have if men won’t look at me?  They think women over forty are old,

stuck in their ways, and breast is sagging.  Most of us are fat as sin. Why would

men our age want to date us?  They can have their pick of the youngsters out there. 

Some men my age and older have girlfriends that are eighteen years old. I bet you men

my age have girlfriends that are sixteen and seventeen years of age, but it’s a well

kept secret.  This concept is frustrating as hell to women my age.

I thought I had a man in my life.  He’s fifty-three years old, and stuck in his ways, but

he made me laugh as he came into my life two years ago.  We dated for a while and it

had its up and downs, and then we moved in together.  It was fine for a couple of months,

and then he grated on my nerves, and I got on his.  I think when you move in with someone,

we take each other for granted, and that’s the honest truth and fact.

He comes home from work, walks into the living room, turns on the television, fixes

himself something to eat, and that’s his plans for the rest of the day.  He usually ends

up falling to sleep with the television blasting away and the kitchen a mess from his cooking.

What do I have to do?  Turn off the television, and clean up the kitchen.  I’m dying to go

to the movies, or walk on the beach with the man I love, but it’s not happening. I have to

beg him to take me to the beach, and believe me he’s getting something out of it.  My man

and I continued to fuss and fight we ended up moving out.  He moved out on Tuesday and

I moved out on Wednesday. I knew it’d be the end of our relationship, but I had no choice

in the matter. He was stressing me out.

After a week, he called, and we started talking again. I was happy because I loved this man,

I just couldn’t live with him.  He’d call you on Thursday, and you wouldn’t hear from him

until two weeks later, and that was usually on my payday, of course. He didn’t think anything

was wrong in not calling his woman.  I stopped talking to him at one point, and told him never

to call me again. How could a man go two weeks without calling the woman he supposed to be

in love with?  Answer me this question. He doesn’t think anything is wrong with it. What do I

supposed to do for two weeks?  What is my man doing that he’s not spending any time with me?

I just don’t understand the way he thinks.  I’m 43, and he’s 53.  Maybe there’s a problem in our ages.

Now my man just calls me when he needs a loan. He knows the things I like to do, but does he

once call me and insists that we go to the movies, or to the beach, or maybe out to dinner?  No! 

He just wants to borrow some money because he’s broke.  What does that tell me about my man? 

HE’S JUST NOT INTO ME!  I took this from a quote from Author Greg Behrendt book, which

is his title, by the way. 

I know this is hard to swallow when you realize that your man isn’t into you. I loved him, but

if he does not love me back then it’s time to move on.  I can’t make anyone want to be with me.

I think the day we decided that living together wasn’t an option for us, our relationship went

down the drain.

Now I am 43 years old and miserable because I’m so romantic, but can’t find my soul mate to

be romantic with. I have to sit around and hear about my twenty-two year old daughter’s love

life. She’s with a man in his forties, and he does everything for her.  Anytime she needs money, he

has it, get in trouble; he bails her out, and is there for her.  This is definitely what a man supposed

to do for a woman.

I also have to keep telling myself that I’m not 22 years old and gorgeous like my daughter.  Men

are in line to get to her, and I can understand why this 40 year old man would want to be with her,

instead of me.  Am I jealous?  Of course not, I’m just envious and lonely.

I still wish I had a good body at 40, and old and young men would be whistling at my door.  So

far, it hasn’t happened, and it’s the most emptied feeling in the world.

I ended the relationship with my man because as I said before, he just wasn’t into me, and we

both were wasting our time. He wanted to keep me around in case I could be good for something,

like loaning him money.  I’m not here for you to use me, and I work to dog gone hard for my money. 

If you were in love with me, and being the man that you were taught to be, then you can have my

entire paycheck.

But you’re not the one, so find someone else to use. I’m not your fool.

So as I sit here, and weep as I write this article, I’m saddened to the brink of hysterics.  I am 43

years old, lonely and old.  There’s no dating scene for me anymore. I’ll truly be an old maid for

the duration of my life.  The tears hysterically fell, as I was blinded by them.  What a waste of a

loving, kind, and passionate woman?  The dating scene sucked!  I just have to continue to read

my romance novels, and pretend that the heroine is me, and the hero is my prince charming,

loving me like a man should love a woman.

The evolutions of men I’ve dated in my years have solely been a paradise of disappointments

in the 21^st century.  Out of the men I’ve dated, and that’s not a lot, I’d say two were my prince

charming.  One I blew away because of my insecurities and the other passed away.  Now those

were men, I’d gladly put on a platter for the entire world to see.

Anyway, I know women who are in love with married men; men who have five or six girlfriends,

and men who are gay, but pretend to be straight, in the process of sneaking around on his woman

lover to be with his man lover.  What is wrong with the picture?  This is the manipulation of a disease

in the making, of course.  The suffering women and men have to put up with because we want to date,

and we don’t treasure being lonely, old, and alone for the duration of our existence.  Again, what is

wrong with this picture?

Now there are women who are satisfied with their men, and men who are satisfied with their

women.  Some women don’t care one bit if the man is abusing them left, and right, or cheating

on them with their best friends.  As long as I have a man next to me, I don’t really care.  Again,

what is wrong with this picture?  In scientific studies, do you really have this man, if he’s sleeping

with other women and men? I don’t think so, but let your mind baste on that fact, and hopefully

you’ll come up with the right solution.

As I’d say it again, the dating scene sucks, and I’m beginning to believe that most men sucked too!

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